As challenges abound, let’s use kindness as a tool

From the Beacon, January 2025

As I thought about what to write for my first column of 2025, I looked back on the books and articles I read and the podcasts I listened to over the past year to see what stood out to me. I found plenty of topics to choose from — AI, climate change, political polarization, socioeconomic inequity — all of which are important and interesting. What stood out, however, was a short but compelling podcast about kindness — specifically, kindness as a response to anger, hate and vitriol.

The podcast was an interview with comedian Sarah Silverman for a September episode of “ReThinking,” by Adam Grant. It’s a good listen, and I recommend it, but in short the interview outlines a series of times that Silverman was able to use kindness to diffuse otherwise upsetting situations and achieve a positive outcome. All of this made me think of local government and the challenges that lie ahead in 2025.

As you may have heard me say, I have walked many a mile in your shoes, and I know, perhaps too well, how much anger and vitriol can be directed at municipal officials. This type of behavior can happen in relatively good times, but will almost certainly be part of the landscape in the challenging year that lies ahead. Strained budgets, difficult debates about land use decisions, and many other divisive issues will be on the agenda at municipal meetings across the Commonwealth. What this means is that you, as elected and appointed municipal officials, will be the face of difficult decisions and, thereby, the receptacle for the varied reactions of the residents of your community.

We’ve all been there, right? We’ve presented a detailed and thoughtful plan for addressing a thorny issue that has been vetted by appropriate stakeholders and committees, but despite the preparatory work, we’re met with opposition that at times blurs the line between personal and professional. This type of reaction makes dialogue very hard. Tempers can flare, and once that happens, it gets even harder to work toward compromise or resolution.

The lesson (or perhaps reminder) that I gleaned from the ReThinking podcast is that, so often, the angry reaction we receive from another person is not based on the issue at hand, but rather is an outlet for some other pain or upset that is occurring in that person’s life. Understanding that can help us depersonalize the attack and channel a response that comes from a place of kindness and compassion. This doesn’t mean that we have to roll over and give in to the pressure being exerted by this person. But perhaps, by lowering the metaphorical volume, we can get closer to the heart of the matter and, at the very least, leave the encounter with an agreement to disagree.

This is admittedly easier said than done, especially since none of us is immune to feeling the pressures and stresses of the 21st century. That said, I am confident that if we give it a try, we are likely to find ourselves in a place where we are feeling better about our ability to address the challenges that lie before us. So, let’s try adding kindness to our municipal toolkit in 2025 and beyond!